IN THE MEANTIME...

HELLO MY BLOGGER FRIENDS AND SUPPORTERS!!

I know it has been quite a while since I've last shared my thoughts. However, all for good reason. I am still in the process of writing my manuscript for my first book. The motivation is lacking, but I'm striving to stay focused, no matter what. So, I'm still here! :-)

I will be back in the new year with more updates, thoughts, and life lessons to share! 2012 is just around the corner, literally. Until then..... read and WRITE for your life!

~Purpos3
[Nia]

P.S. Do me a favor please? Check out my wonderful one on one interview in the November 2011 blog about #NaturalHair - I had the pleasure of being featured by the fabulous naturalista herself, Ms. Kira Nicole - the hair stories are exciting and informative (with pictures included)! Here's the link - http://kiraisnaturallyyours.blogspot.com/ - follow her blog as well, show some love by leaving a comment!! THANK YOU!!!

P.P.S. Lol - just a quick shout out again to Kira Nicole for the interview and the opportunity! Natural hair isn't a fad, it's a lifestyle!

RELAX! RELATE! RELEASE!

Writing is such a powerful tool. A special friend of mine inspired this blog entry.

It has been a few months since I've posted, and for good reason (in my opinion). There are those times where life becomes so overwhelming that you may find yourself consumed by it, instead of living it. Although I know that I really need to blog, for some reason I am feeling so reluctant. I think it's a matter of the heart vs. the mind - sometimes a never-ending battle. My heart wants to pour onto the pages as my cup is overflowing with the issues of life -- no hesitation, no edits, no revisions. But my mind tells me to be fully aware of what others may think or feel, and only share what's on the surface. Let's be real, would the world really be ready for what's beneath the surface?! Rhetorical, but I think not. We are living in a world where it's publicly frowned upon to be transparent and authentic. Yet privately there's only sighs of relief and thoughts of "wow, someone else understands." Overall, I believe William Shakespeare said it best, "To Thine Ownself Be True." Yes indeed, Sir!

Random thought - It's amazing to me how someone can be sitting right next to you and be screaming inside, possibly fighting for their life...and you have no clue what's going on. Naturally, no one is a mind reader. But I guess what amazes me the most is how true the old cliche' is, "you can be in the middle of a crowd, surrounded by thousands of people, and still feel completely alone." Oh I'm sure that's NEVER been you. I will be honest & admit, sometimes, that has been me. Ironically, one of the busiest places, TimeSquare in NYC, is my favorite place to go and just think. Clear my thoughts. I don't know how it's possible being surrounded by so many people non-stop, but I've had  special connection there since I was a teenager. Despite the noise, which turns into a bunch of static or jibberish after a while. That's just one place of many.

Ok, here's a confession - growing up as an only child, I used to be terrified of being alone with my thoughts. Not anymore. I welcome it. It's so imperative. My thoughts have become my mirror. If you search within you will always see yourself, voluntarily or involuntarily. Whether good or bad, positive or negative. No matter what, you can never escape yourself. That's a fact. Wherever you go, YOU wiill always be there. In my humble opinion, a mirror is your golden ticket to self-discovery. Dig deeper, really understand what I'm saying. I'm not talking about the outter appearance. I'm referring to the core, the REAL you. The you that no one or most people don't know about. And probablly never will. I am inclined to be a better me than the me I see. You should be too! Just some food for thought. It's my sincere desire that I've articulated my thoughts in such a way that makes you go "hmmmm" and add action to it. Relax! Relate! Release!

Until Next Time...

Much Love! ~Purpos3

CAN YOU HEAR ME...NOW???

"SOMETIMES PAPER IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL LISTEN TO YOU..."

A close friend of mine sent me those words via text message a few months ago, and it has never escaped my thoughts. My paper and pen have been in a committed marriage for the past 17 years. I'm telling you they've been head-over-heels in love with eachother since the fall of 1994. Only to be guilty of blameless infidelity -- from diaries, journals, five-star notebooks, composition books, and notepads...to bic, papermate, mead, and ballpoint pens...black ink, blue ink, red ink...whatever it takes to articulate my mind & heart onto paper. Writing is my outlet and it has proven to be my most resourceful avenue of venting. 

As strange as it may sound, I find comfort in knowing that paper will ALWAYS listen. Whenever I see a plain piece of paper, especially notebook paper, I envision it as a color blind canvas waiting to be painted with the whispers of my vivid imagination. Each line has its own desire to be filled with life, while urgently relying on my pen. Even without an audible voice, my paper still provides tangible feedback. My words feed the sound of a glass that's half empty. Most times I am so eager to grab a pen and jot down my thoughts on paper because I know that there's an unspoken understanding, literally. Paper has a rhetorical ear with fair reasoning. It all makes sense from beginning to end. And perhaps, if it doesn't, whether it's through frustration or freedom you can always start over. One of my most daunting flaws is a fear of being misundersood. I absolutely dread it -- to the point where I allow it to cripple me at times. I am guilty of allowing my past and my fear to hinder my progress while in pursuit of my dreams. Sometimes circumstances from the past are still very present. No matter how much you force it to the back of your mind, somehow, it still appears at the forefront. Unfortunately, time cannot be rewinded. By way of some harsh realities, I realized that my thinking had become paralyzed and my mind was screaming for liberation. In addition, blogging about this certainly isn't the easiest thing to do. Maybe someone reading these words can relate to my perspective. I sure do hope so! 

Paper and pen are the only two things that possess the ultimate means of entry into my deepest feelings, thoughts, desires, fears, triumphs, etc... I usually don't allow "people" to trespass, but in the rare instance I do, I request that you proceed with caution. At your own risk, but please keep in mind it's fragile, handle with care. I can't predict any exits. All I know is that my introduction and conclusion is purpose. Me. Everything else in between is left to be discovered on my path.

Ever-evolving & En route to my destiny...

~Nia

UP UP & AWAY!!!

Random Ramblings From The Inscription Of My Heart...

Have you ever wanted to just go away?  Seriously, like...far AWAY!!! I do, more often than not. Until now, I've never been able to articulate (even to myself) an in depth reason as to why I'd like to just escape. Sometimes I want to just leave home (New Jersey) and...hide. Other times I'd like nothing more than to leave where I am and...thrive. I want to depart the divided, oops, I mean "united" states of america and arrive in another country. A place such as Italy! Somewhere that nobody knows me or even understands my language. A completely foreign place. Of course one of the deepest desires amongst humanity is for us all to simply be understood. That's a fact! However, I'd prefer to go somewhere people don't understand me because they don't KNOW me at all and they wouldn't even understand my language. I'd much rather opt for that opposed to people who constantly surround me (whether it be directly or indirectly), that supposedly do "know" me and understand the english language very well, yet do not understand me at all because I'm a complex individual.

I don't want your applause because it may quickly become your criticism. I dare not solicit your approval at the risk of harboring your personal analysis. I want to go 'AWOL'...vanish, then apear where the high esteem is where I am, not where I've come from.

Somewhere that I'm not pre-judged on sight and even in my own subconsciousness. Everything new because it is all unfamiliar. A permanent tourist, if you will, on an inner voyage. Today's popular term would describe my desire as being a "jet-setter" of some sort. A destined traveler in search of NOTHING...just an opportunity to be. An intelligent sightseer with deliberate intentions to explore! But for now, I can only daydream of such a spontaneous excursion.

Written by my hand... Endorsed by my heart

~Nia [Purpos3] :-)

BREAK...THROUGH...THE BARRIER(S)

I'd like to begin with a quote that serves as a daily inspiration to me, "If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." ~Toni Morrison

In honor of this last day of Black History Month, I'm encouraged to break through barriers. More often than not I find myself entangled in the snares of life. On one hand that may sound kind of vague, but it really does articulate the way I feel. The purpose of a 'snare' is to entangle or entrap the unaware. So it's basically a trap, a device designed to capture you. Personally, I'm speaking of it as a metaphor. However, when I consider the hard times conquered by my heritage, it's certainly more literal than not. I'm a little hesitant to expound in this degree, but I'm going to follow my heart. A snare is also another name for a noose. Now if you don't know what this is, shame on you...lol, just kidding! Seriously though, our ancestors were hung and their lives were sacrificed (involuntarily) because they were entangled, trapped, and even endangered. Unfortunately, it was absolutely inevitable during that time. They had to endure the endless torture of life being literally choked out of them by this noose, whereas today, we allow the snares that we encounter to practically squeeze the life out of us. So much so that we become accustom to turmoil, we cope with suffering, we submit to what we permit. And that's not okay.

Why do we tolerate it? Our ancestors didn't, even if it was at the expense of sacrificing their last breath on this earth. As I write, I'm looking inward. The shoe fits perfectly! So it's not just me, it's not only you...ALL of us are guilty of this at one point or several times. I'd like to dispute the downfalls and overcome the obstacles. I am convinced that I am capable of breaking through the barriers, if for no other reason that I'M STILL HERE!!! My purpose has not yet been fulfilled to its fullest capacity. A barrier is just a barricade, but I am more than a conqueror. If it's toooooo easy, I should almost be insulted. When it comes my way, it's because I am designed to defeat it and of course, learn from it. The challenge isn't impossible, so break through your barriers. 

With Love & Respect,

~Nia 

Propelled By Passion

L.O.V.E. is the traditional, universal message for today = Valentine's Day!

I woke up this morning with *passion* on my heart. No, not necessarily in a sexual sense. I'd say my thoughts are more so concerning what I am most passionate about in life - what I'm driven by, what sets things in motion, what launches my creativity, etc... And in my usual reflective 'element', I have concluded that sometimes you have to take a glance at your past to propel you into your future. The majority of the time when I look back, the main thing that pushes me forward is my passion. I am very passionate about several things, undeniably intrigued by all kinds of music, marketing/public relations, fashion, and the arts. However, the ONE thing that I am most thrilled and eager about is my heartfelt passion for writing!

Here is one of my favorite quotes, "Without a pen I feel naked, but it's writing that is my exhibitionism."~Carrie Latet

Basically, without my pen I feel just as blank as a piece of notebook paper, but it's through my writing that i expose my 'nudity'...meaning I introduce myself to.....me! It's not often that I can look around and see my world consumed with what propels my passion. Sometimes it seems as if there are so many distractions and negative perceptions. But I choose to be positive and remain focused. I am extremely fond of those within my reach, and even the intangible, who have influenced my desire to write. Despite my enthusiasm, only God (and maybe a couple of my closest friends) know about my rollercoaster experience over the past few years. I went through a phase of written dehydration. It was as if my pen was parched and my desire to write had evaporated. Say and think whatever you'd like, but life's journey itself had me in such an odd location mentally. To be honest, it wasn't until recently (the past few months) that I gradually acquired a thirst to empty the expressions of my heart & mind via pen and paper. Although it is still a challenge at times, my determination WINS!!! I am propelled by passion, *my* passion. Not just writing, but everything that my heart desires...that is destined for me. I know that my purpose is greater than me, it transcends the limitations of thought. I will exceed in excellence, outdo my optimism, rise above my fears, and go beyond my potential. Yes, it's possible and it is so!

With Patience & Promise,
~Nia

  

READY OR NOT ~ HERE I COME!!!

While listening to the relaxing vibrations of soundscapes, thoughts of serenity almost always immediately follow. Contrastly, evidence of my reality seems to trigger something in my heart. One of my biggest inspirations when it comes to writing is Maya Angelou. Her words pierce my soul, no exaggeration, I've never felt so infinitely influenced by a human being. For years I'd think my reason for feeling connected to her was solely based on our common craving to fill a blank piece of paper with a rainbow of colors. It wasn't until recently that I realized it's so much deeper than that. Maya Angelou's life, whether told in written form or shared verbally in her own words, is a picture of reality. Not just her reality, but mine as well. I'm not saying our lives mirror eachother, not verbatim. But even if it's mostly metaphorically, it's true indeed. 

I don't want to go against the first confession of the infamous speech of empowerment, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate." However, I have to be honest and say that, actually, that IS my deepest fear. Now, don't miscontrue my words or anything, I am in no way saying that I operate or live my life in fear. But what I am saying is that when I search deep within myself sometimes I find that I am afraid to a certain extent. When it comes to my writing, especially my poetry, I fear that I will be judged harshly by the world who reads it. It's my desire to be understood, relatable, and even a point of identical contact for someone else in the world who may be feeling the same way regarding what's written. I dare not say I'm afraid of success, because who'd be crazy enough to admit such a thing?! (yeah right)... Maybe not to you, but it makes a lot of sense to me. I'm reminded of something the Notorious BIG once said, "more money, more problems." I've never taken that at face value only. It's not just about the dollar, in my opinion, it has more to do with the obligation, accountability, and responsibility. Looking in the mirror of my heart I recognized that of course I desire to be successful, wealthy, and all the good things that come with the territory. So where's my dilemma? Where's the fear of being inadequate? It's more so in my mind than anywhere else. So a lot of times I find that my heart and my mind conflict. It's like a tug of war, if you will, a battle of the strongest will. 

In my heart I know that I am beyond capable to execute everything involving my purpose with excellence. It's possible. It's going to happen. I've made a conscious decision to look within and face "it" :: my "it" may be similar or different than yours, but they are all walls waiting to be conquered. It's a continual decision, a constant renewal. I have faith, I believe. And that far exceeds any level of fear. That's why I'm not only stepping out on this limb called life, I'm standing on that limb. I will remain standing, strongly planting my feet on each movement. My foundation is firm, and my roots are not removable. Time is of the essence. It is extremely essential. The time is now, right now! So...ready or not...HERE I COME!!!     

From my heart,

~Nia

RANDOMLY RAMBLING

First things first, I sincerely apologize to my followers/readers/supporters because I haven't blogged in soooo long...since 2009 to be exact. And for that, I certainly 'smh' at myself, no excuses. Procrastination is definitely not a friend to anyone unwilling to accept the offer.

For some reason I am in a mood to just vent. It's "one of those Mondays"...I woke up feeling 'blah' about everything that came to mind. Life, bills, goals, worries, fears, responsibilities, and a load of other issues/concerns. I've been in a reflective mood for the past few weeks. Most people may say that's to be expected because we're still at the beginning of a new year, however, being in a reflective state isn't unusual for me or attributed to a specific time of year. So much has taken place in my life since my last blog. I'm almost overwhelmed just thinking about it. I recognized that my desire to write was slowly fading. Life had began to throw so many curve balls I grew weary of finding ways to either cope or take an alternative route. So, my most urgent desire to write gradually left with my confidence and seemingly my smile. I've lost some things in the past few years, but I've gained a lot as well (both tangible & intangible). I am expecting 2011 to be such an exceptional year. And I plan to contribute to that expectation every step of the way.

I admit that I've allowed entirely too much time to go by operating in fear and insecurity of my passion in life, which mostly consists of writing - marketing/pr - mentoring youth - etc... I've also allowed circumstances to nearly beat me to a pulp, to the point where I almost lost myself in the maze of it all. Internally I've always known that I walk to the beat of my own drum, and I haven't always been proud to embrace it. Be that as it may, externally, for quite some time now I've finally been able to look in the mirror and be proud of that. But that's another story for another blog (coming soon) :-) Seriously, the mind is truly the biggest battle field, and I thank God everyday for keeping me! Currently, I'm working on my first book in hopes to be completed AND released this year. It's about me growing up without an active father in my life. It talks about my ups, downs, struggles, fears, and eventually my victory in forgiveness and liberation! The primary purpose of the book is to inspire people all over the world who can relate to my story, and even those who can't relate directly, there's a message for you as well. I am also working on a book of poetry, amongst other great things to come this year. I am nervous but excited, a little scared but hopeful, overall I'm READY!!! Please stay tuned and I will stay right here... at *P3n Place*...until we meet&greet again...

~Nia

ARE YOU TOLERATED OR CELEBRATED???

Merriam-Webster defines these two words as such,

Tolerate = to put up with

Celebrate = to honor

Often times this particular question comes to mind whenever I'm faced with challenges pertaining to friendships and/or relationships at large. It seems to be an internal "pop-up", if you will, that can even be considered a rhetorical question. Think about it...how many times have you heard the worn out cliche', (paraphrasing) "don't make someone your priority if you're only their option"...I don't know about you, but I've heard & read it one time too many. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes of what I would suggest to be a moral and/or standard we all should, at least, consider appropriate when necessary.

Let's go a little deeper - in life, in love, in achievements, in disappointments, and the list goes on...do you want to be "put up with" or do you desire to be "honored"??? Hmm, ok...let's travel a little further - naturally, you may be thinking of course no one wants to only be "put up with"...but that's not necessarily true. A lot of people, knowlingly or subconsciously, are comfortable in a place called "complacency"...meaning it's ok because whatever happens, happens and ultimately develop an "i don't care" type of attitude. Contrastly, you have those folks who refuse to settle for less...determination serves their right hand while ambition is its counterpart. These are the people who choose to be 'celebrated', even if its by their own efforts. Being comfortable is just a term in reference to relaxation on the living room couch, not a permanent place in life. They're ever-evolving :-)

With that being said (wheww! I think I've said a lot lol), really ask yourself, am I tolerated or am I celebrated?! The answer...it's actually up to you!

Until Next Time...

*PuRpOs3*

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE

IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT *HELLO AGAIN*....

AND WELCOME TO ~P.3.N. PLACE~ ... "MY WRITING NEIGHBORHOOD" (smh @ myself lol)

Now, being that i'm fairly new to the 'blog universe'... normally I would have an already put together "rough draft" of my thoughts. From the topic to the main point. However, when I woke up this morning 3 specific words were glued to my mind, "LIVE*LAUGH*LOVE." Pay attention closely because... you must understand that given the present 'circumstances' taking place in different areas of my life, oddly enough, I wouldn't expect those 3 particular words to stand out or represent my 'first thoughts of the day.'

So, as I began to explore the significance of these seemingly random thoughts, I came to a conclusion or two. First, I asked myself, "what does these 3 words have in common as it pertains to me?" {meanwhile, I was on the phone with a very close friend (who inspires me) during this entire ordeal :-)} It was like a weird epiphany of some sort::during the conversation, I was laughing and I suddenly realized that 'I am living'... and because I am living, that means I have the capability to 'love'... You may think, well of course we all are capable of 'love'... but it's a little more complex than that for me. That's another "note" for the next time you're visiting my neighborhood ;-)

Looking further into this personal point of discovery, I feel as though on a broader scale, if you're living... you should be laughing... and I believe that the most pure form of laughter comes from a place thats surrounded by love. I mean, think about it, the opposite of love is hate, right?! And where there's hate, I dont believe any laughter is on the agenda. It simply doesnt reside there. It's like these 3 words mesh so well together. One has the ability to stand on its own or co-exist without eachother, but what fun is it?! Contrastly, I know that beyond the 'surface' something of this calibur, simple by sound yet challenging by task, is easier said than done. I'm coming from the basis of a 'light note'... nothing too deep or complicated. Just think of what comes to mind when you FIRST think of the words, "live.laugh.love"...

And on that note, I encourage everyone to... *LIVE (LONG).LAUGH (LOUD).LOVE (LIFE).*

Until next time...

~Purpos3

WELCOME TO P.3.N. PLACE ~ MY WRITING NEIGHBORHOOD

I'm new to "blogging"....but certainly familiar with my 'pen'....

P.3.N. Place is where you'll read all about what's on the heart & mind of "Purpos3lementNotes"...

Stay tuned... under construction right now... gearing up for a continual thought-provoking adventure! :-)